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As someone with coeliac disease, it doesn't take a lot to make me feel a bit ragey about food. There are many things that can be frustrating on a gluten free diet, and make you want to spontaneously combust with annoyance. But no fear, friends, we're all in it together! At least, I like to think we are.
I'm hoping you can relate to some of these - I'm sure there are probably more! Gluten-eaters, you have been warned! Here are 15 ways to make a person with coeliac disease angry...
Make all of the pizzas half price apart from the gluten free one
Pizza Express in Tesco, I'm looking at you. Why are your normal pizzas always on offer but the gluten free ones aren't?
Bring out a new gluten free sandwich and then make it unsafe for coeliacs
Oh Pret, what have you done!? 'Yay look at our new gluten free sandwich! But oh, wait, it's at risk of cross contamination so you can't eat it, soz......' rage
Make a meal deal with everything containing gluten
What's that? A meal deal on EVERYTHING apart from the gluten free sandwiches? Or the sandwiches are included but there's no gluten free crisps? Eurgh.
Dump non-gluten-free food in the free from aisle
Why do people do this!? It's so frustrating when you think there's a new gluten free product and it turns out it's just someone being lazy!
Make it super complicated to order gluten free food
Looking at you Domino's, hiding the gluten free base option at the bottom of the app as some obscure option, rather than the old-style way of ordering!
Deliver a takeaway gluten free pizza un-sliced, without a cutter
And then you have to use the end of a teaspoon to attempt to cut/rip it apart because you don't have any cutlery in your hotel room. True story.
Give them fruit salad for dessert
Go on, I double dare you to give me some sad-looking berries while you eat your cheesecake.
Dip your breadcrumb-y knife into the butter
Oh, spread that gluten round like you just don't care!
Keep pointing them to the vegan foods
What's that? You can't eat gluten? Oh yes, we have a brilliant vegan menu..... #NOTTHESAMETHING
Bring out a whole range of gluten free products that are twice the price and half the size of their 'normal' counterparts
I know we've discussed this before, but it never gets any less frustrating. Come on, give us normal-sized gluten free food!
Or just shrink the gluten free foods on sale already
M&S I'm looking at you, your snack sized bars used to be a lot bigger than they are now, but the price is still exactly the same!
Tell them to 'just try a little bit'
You really wanna see what happens? Some people just do NOT get it - it's not like we're avoiding gluten for fun, coeliac is a serious disease.
Tell your coeliac friend you're going gluten free to lose weight...
Yea, sure, go for it Sheila. Because eating gluten free cakes will be so much more conducive to weight loss than normal ones...
...and then give up a week later because 'it's too difficult'
Well at least you have a choice. If I decided that, things would end very, very badly...
Throw bread at them
Ok, that's just pure mean. I don't even know what dark place in my head that came from! Please don't do that.
Have I missed any out?
I'm pretty sure there are a lot more gluten-induced scenarios which would make me angry - are there any I've missed? I’d love to know anything I’ve missed in the comments below and share the laughs!
If you want a giggle, give these other posts a read!
- 14 things that are way too excited when you have coeliac disease
- 23 stupid things people have said about being gluten free
- 12 things everyone with coeliac disease has done (but may not admit)
- 19 things you’ll only understand if you have coeliac disease
- 13 things every coeliac feels about gluten free chocolate brownies
- 18 things that happen when you eat out on a gluten free diet
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